Speech Therapy Enthusiasts Pillows

"I thee a thpeech therapitht every Thaturday for thpecial help. He ith amathing!"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Inclusive speech

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

What's normal?

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Changing Minds

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Twitter censorship

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

"A haand gel...!?"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"