Speech Maker Gifts

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

Prompter malfunction. You're on your own.

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

How Alcohol Works.

Morley the Stubborn Liberal

'He may be a financial whiz but he isn't much of an orator.'

fat guy with cigar writes his own speech bubble

Well spoken man.

'I believe a 13 year affair is bad luck for a pesidential candidate.'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

A spokesperson licks an ice cream at a podium

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."