Speech Crafter Gifts

'He's still addressing the nation.'

Ban on Free Speech

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

We need a Europe of U-turns.

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Time for speeches

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

Censorship is killing free society.

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

Citizen Cane...

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

"Take this box of rumors, innuendo and hearsay and turn it into decisive leadership."

"Let's make it a few minutes longer and add more inside jokes."

"Unaccustomed as I am to public squeaking…"

For the record, my young speech writers don't consider borrowing phrases as plagiarism. They consider it sampling.

Political Speech Making Tutorial

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."