Speechcraft Gifts

"You're drinking my flop sweat."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Ban on Free Speech

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Political convention

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.