Sparkle Loving Friend Gifts

Cut out and keep your own Cleaner.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

10 K Tail-Chase

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

Bears going water skiing.

Canine Scentipede

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Christmas Pets

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'Next!'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Chasebook

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

Disco Bunny.

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Humans are strange."

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'