Spaghetti Sipper Gifts

Pasta

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Bryan Ferry

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

Prosecco Peacock

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Whine and cheezed party."

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

A Transformer for grownups

A very fine vintage

"How do I know if it's fresh?... You asked for 'the soup of the day'. You didn't specify what day."

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

"Eewww! It still makes a lousy cup of coffee!"

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

Lady on left - 'He's a man after my own heart' Lady on right - 'A cardiologist?'

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. I'll have the beef and tomato consomme from Santiago. Coming up one chilly Chile Chili!

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

"You need a hobby."

"Sometimes Ted finds it difficult to leave the holiday spirit behind."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."