Sap Sipper Gifts

Tree Relief

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"I forget to drink."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Running Latte

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

Liquidity Lunch

"You know what burns me up? I deliberately kept my life uneventful, and I got old anyway."

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

"How do I know if it's fresh?... You asked for 'the soup of the day'. You didn't specify what day."

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

"Sipsies?"

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. I'll have the beef and tomato consomme from Santiago. Coming up one chilly Chile Chili!

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

'Boozer's Week.'

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade