Space-time Ponderer Gifts

'A momentary rift in the space-time continuum.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'But what is the universe for?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

God Sneezes Out Creation

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Rock - see you in a million years!

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

The Origins of Everything

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Is this who I am?"

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"I cross the road to forget."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Non Thought For The Day.

'Dad, what is peace?'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"