Space-time Family Dinner Planner Gifts

At home with the Borgs...

'I sent out for everything.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Kiddies Menu for Witches

The ecumenical dinner party.

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"We need to find another fall activity to do with the kids."

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'May I recommend the unlimited slop trough?'

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."

"Now let's share a moment of silence in memory of our portfolio."

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'I wish somebody would invent the TABLE!'

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

Redneck Relative Thanksgiving

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."

'How does pizza for dinner sound to you?'

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Suddenly, the line went dead.

'Anything else, Sir?'

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."