Family Dinner Planner Gifts

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"I heard you've become a vegetarian."

"At their age, we weren't allowed to play with out food!"

'I sent out for everything.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

The ecumenical dinner party.

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"Fridge-to-table"

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."