Family Dinner Coordinator Gifts

''Kale'? - Did we join the Vegetable of the Month Club or something?'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Fridge-to-table"

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"Michael, do your dinner."

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'