Family Dinner Mediator Gifts

'If you keep pushing milk and vegetables off on me I might just have to give up eating, all together.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Fridge-to-table"

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

"Someday, my dimwitted son, all this will belong to your sister."

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'