Dinner Planner Gifts

"Because we're a family, that's why. You set the table I dial the phone, and your father orders the chinese food."

"Yes, it was a table for eight, but at the last moment our wives refused to join us."

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."

'It won't be ready to drink for 15 years? Perfect -- that's how long my wife needs to plan a dinner.'

'How does pizza for dinner sound to you?'

The ecumenical dinner party.

'What do you want for dinner? -- green stuff or brown stuff?'

"If you want to charge a man for sex, you have to do it like everyone else - slowly, over time, beginning with dinner."

'It's the cat, says he'll be late, can we leave something out?'

'We need to rebook our dinner reservation. He didn't want to miss the T.V. rerun of a remake of a sequel.'

'I'll go put our plates in the oven,'

"No dinner tonight - It ran away."

"Let's find a river darling: I feel like freshwater fish for dinner tonight..."

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

'I sent out for everything.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Like death by salad.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'May I recommend the unlimited slop trough?'

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."