Space Gifts

'Oh, this is just great... Now how am I going to get a Wi-Fi connection?'

Cowboy Probe

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

"He says it's not an invasion - it's a cruise."

Space shuttle Mission Accomplished

'Uhhh... Houston, we have a problem.'

"I get it!"

"You're not from around here are you?"

"There's a giant rock coming from the sky, we have to hide!"

'This is my new friend Roger - he's a real down-to-earth kind of guy.'

Help us meet our goal and we won't destroy your planet.

"Be realistic, how can lumps of rock zooming around in space affect our lives down here?"

'Now, don't make a big fuss -- we're just migrant workers.'

"I've just discovered the universe is built from trillions and trillions of lego blocks!"

Captain Pointy No.5 - Skeptical about aliens

"When you add up how much it costs for fuel, supplies, and getting a sitter, it doesn't seem worth it to invade Earth."

'...If you don't believe me come and look! I'm telling you. There's a tiny black hole.'

'We're thinking of settling down here -- do you folks have bilingual education?'

'You are allergic to strawberries, caffeine and bad air. You must avoid these substances and find another planet to live on.'

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

"Since you all requested to 'work remotely', I guess you're happy with this relocation."

'Look, you can actually see Bill Gates' office from here.'

A teacher introduces the new student to the class - he's an alien - 'Good evening class, this is Zork and he will be joining us until he learns enough English to conquer the Earth...'

'Did you hear about Pluto? - He got demoted to 'dwarf planet' for noncompliance.'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'Sometimes I think you're on a different planet.'

"It's seven billion life forms talking about themselves."

"I'll be working remotely today."

"What a ripoff. We'll refuel at the next rest stop."

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'I think he wants you to pull his finger Mr President'

'Now, don't panic -- we're just here to do a little stem-cell research.'

Astronaut School.