Soy Switcher Gifts

"States of tofu"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Signs of Fall

'I understand your world view, but what world are you coming from?'

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

'... and instead of a brain, the wizard gave the scarecrow a smart phone.'

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

Scary Slug Stories

"Just because I switched political parties at an appropriate time?"

Vegan Voldemort

Floating Voters

"I had to switch to tea, coffee was keeping me up all day."

'Oh great. It's Western and I use an English saddle.'

Old Man Winter.

"Being a vegan should be considered an extreme sport."

Golfer turned Javelin thrower

"We're switching from donuts to bagels effective Tuesday. Johnson, you handle the consumer backlash."

Indian Winter

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

Free-range tofu.

"Shuffle Mode"

Waiter in Waiting Room with Needle

'Two chicken lip toasties and three salmon leg baguettes...I'm guessing you're a new apprentice.'