Food Switcher Gifts

"We're switching from donuts to bagels effective Tuesday. Johnson, you handle the consumer backlash."

Lady of the Cake.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'Then after the pan our third album, we split for musical differences..'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Any experience?"

'Your resume says you have a B.A. in medieval history, a M.A. in modern art, and a PhD in metaphysical poetry. Have you checked us out on the internet? We design and manufacture detonation switches for drones.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

Respected Professionals

'So what you're telling me is you've been fired from the last 15 jobs you had.'

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

Where Are They Now?

'OK, I see you've worked as a driving instructor for the past 23 years.'

'I'm actually looking for a manual labourer...'

Russell Rebrand

Trade School. Going to trade school after our real estate business collapsed was a good idea! These days it's all about "vocation, vocation, vocation"!

"Wanna swap lunch? My wife packed me birch again..."

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

'I'm looking into a career change away from this 'King of the Jungle' thing.'

'... and instead of a brain, the wizard gave the scarecrow a smart phone.'

Floating Voters

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

"I had to switch to tea, coffee was keeping me up all day."

'I've found your niche, Wilson. I'm transferring you to our day care center!'

"Hi. I'm the babysitter, formerly with Action Data Systems."

Business for sale

"Just because I switched political parties at an appropriate time?"

'I have a deep commitment to my job - at least until I can find another one.'

'Degree in Psychology and a former Referee. I think your qualified to be a School Bus Driver.'

"Cutting back on meat is hard. Take away the 'M' and you have 'EAT.'"