Food Switcher Pillows

"We're switching from donuts to bagels effective Tuesday. Johnson, you handle the consumer backlash."

Lady of the Cake.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'Then after the pan our third album, we split for musical differences..'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Any experience?"

'Your resume says you have a B.A. in medieval history, a M.A. in modern art, and a PhD in metaphysical poetry. Have you checked us out on the internet? We design and manufacture detonation switches for drones.'

Respected Professionals

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'So what you're telling me is you've been fired from the last 15 jobs you had.'

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

Where Are They Now?

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

"Wanna swap lunch? My wife packed me birch again..."

'I'm actually looking for a manual labourer...'

'OK, I see you've worked as a driving instructor for the past 23 years.'

'I'm looking into a career change away from this 'King of the Jungle' thing.'

'... and instead of a brain, the wizard gave the scarecrow a smart phone.'

"I had to switch to tea, coffee was keeping me up all day."

'I've found your niche, Wilson. I'm transferring you to our day care center!'

Floating Voters

Business for sale

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

"Just because I switched political parties at an appropriate time?"

'I have a deep commitment to my job - at least until I can find another one.'

'Degree in Psychology and a former Referee. I think your qualified to be a School Bus Driver.'

"Cutting back on meat is hard. Take away the 'M' and you have 'EAT.'"