Sugar Switcher Pillows

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'I made them during the blizzard in January. Whad'ya say we go liven up my sister's pool party?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

'They're building one of those new health clubs.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Why have you brought me here?"

"I'm trying to make up my mind."

Now we wait for the snow.

Signs of Fall

'... and instead of a brain, the wizard gave the scarecrow a smart phone.'

"Just because I switched political parties at an appropriate time?"

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

Floating Voters

"I had to switch to tea, coffee was keeping me up all day."

'I think sugar substitutes are fattening. Have you noticed that people who use them are usually overweight?'

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'

'You are what you eat!'

Old Man Winter.

'Why not use dental floss instead of candy floss?!'

Golfer turned Javelin thrower

Another Fine Mess. It's cute -- but the General wants you to change it back to "Mess Hall #640".

"We're switching from donuts to bagels effective Tuesday. Johnson, you handle the consumer backlash."

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

"My birthday is actually in September, but I've always identified as an Aries."

A moocher borrows a cup of sugar to make a sponge cake.

"Shuffle Mode"

Actually, a lot of my friends have switched to soy.

"She appeared shortly after I replaced the flute with a ukulele."

Indian Winter

'Two chicken lip toasties and three salmon leg baguettes...I'm guessing you're a new apprentice.'

"Watson, look. Skittles!"