Coffee Switcher Pillows

"I had to switch to tea, coffee was keeping me up all day."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

How About Serving Us For a Change

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

"I know nobody here works with each other, but it seems like morale is down."

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

'Fantastic chance to show what you can do...resources are of course stretched...we'd be very grateful.'

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

'... and instead of a brain, the wizard gave the scarecrow a smart phone.'

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

The Secret Formula in Coffee

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

"Iced grande soy triple-lutz latte!"

IT department/Cup of T department.

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

Home/work masks.

Jury room: 'They ordered twelve different coffees - here's the list.'

"We're switching from donuts to bagels effective Tuesday. Johnson, you handle the consumer backlash."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

I went to the book store, drank coffee, listened to some guitar player, talked to a friend, and forgot to buy my book!

"Shuffle Mode"

"Was there any game in any sport last night which we can discuss?"

'I don't dare ask my students to answer questions - they keep expecting prizes like on Oprah.'

"They're shifting the responsibility to the people with identifiable skills."