Coffee Switcher T-Shirts

"I had to switch to tea, coffee was keeping me up all day."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

How About Serving Us For a Change

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"I know nobody here works with each other, but it seems like morale is down."

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

'Fantastic chance to show what you can do...resources are of course stretched...we'd be very grateful.'

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

'I've given up on looking for the bluebird of happiness. . . I'd settle for the chicken of contentment!'

Voting on their Seats

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

'... and instead of a brain, the wizard gave the scarecrow a smart phone.'

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

The Secret Formula in Coffee

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

"Iced grande soy triple-lutz latte!"

IT department/Cup of T department.

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

Jury room: 'They ordered twelve different coffees - here's the list.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

"We're switching from donuts to bagels effective Tuesday. Johnson, you handle the consumer backlash."

Home/work masks.

I went to the book store, drank coffee, listened to some guitar player, talked to a friend, and forgot to buy my book!

'I don't dare ask my students to answer questions - they keep expecting prizes like on Oprah.'

"Was there any game in any sport last night which we can discuss?"

'So then I thought... why not buy big magnets?'