Soy Milk Aficionado Gifts

Vegan Cat

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"You had me at alternative milk."

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

Spilled Milk

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

"Do you know what kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees."

Take me to your lactator!

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

The Magic Float

'May I strongly suggest the soy burger?'

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

"Can you make me a tall Tazo chai latte with soy milk?" Bartleby, the soon-to-be-unemployed barista.

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

The statue of Lactity.

'I used to have women lined up. Married, unmarried - it didn't matter. Ah, forget it. Another round. Skim.'

Baby drinking competition

Too Much SOY

"It's amazing what they can do with soy, but it's just not the same."

'Does it come in soy lite?'

The miracle of genetic engineering

'Miaow??'

'Soy milk, soy burgers...imagine being replaced by a bean.'

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Two per cent."

'I couldn't give up fags, so I've started drinking long-life milk.'

"I'll have a latte - hold the coffee."