Soup Scribbler Gifts

'Mummy! Darren's making rude words in his alphabet soup!'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Anorak anoraks'.

When Cells Divide

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Tax.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Hans Holbein

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Will Self deprecation

Musical Prodigy

How to create a brilliant cartoon

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Writer’s Corner

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Astrophysics made simple.

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

A pen spewing letters

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'