Soup Scribbler T-Shirts

'Mummy! Darren's making rude words in his alphabet soup!'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

When Cells Divide

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Tax.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Hans Holbein

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

Solve for x x r 2.

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Musical Prodigy

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

How to create a brilliant cartoon

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

Writer’s Corner

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Astrophysics made simple.

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"