Soulful Crooner Gifts

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

Blues artis's daily list

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

"And now, with our own unique version of the cole porter classic. . ."

Cook in interview explaining she left her last post because her employee did not like her singing

Banjo Player

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

'One more yippeee-ki-yi from Roy Rogers back there,and i'm putting a hoof through that guitar.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

'I got a case of the itsy-bitsy bonus blues...'

"Gentlemen, let's pick it up again with 'I Been Livin' on Cold Navy Beans.'"

Bobby Biddle, world's worst country singer.

Heart in a bottle

Amy Winehouse

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'