Soulful Crooner T-Shirts

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

Bashful in Nashville

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Blues artis's daily list

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Rhinestone Accountant

Dolly Parton

Banjo Player

Cook in interview explaining she left her last post because her employee did not like her singing

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

'I got a case of the itsy-bitsy bonus blues...'

Heart in a bottle

"Gentlemen, let's pick it up again with 'I Been Livin' on Cold Navy Beans.'"

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"