Off-key Crooner T-Shirts

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

Music from the moon.

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

Banjo Player

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

'I got a case of the itsy-bitsy bonus blues...'

"Era un gato grande... Que hacia ro ro..."

"Gentlemen, let's pick it up again with 'I Been Livin' on Cold Navy Beans.'"

Pianissimo - (to sing very softly).

Singing is everyone's shower rights.

"O.K., Marv, you win. Quit the croonin' and get a condom."

"Let me do all the singing."