Soulful Singer Gifts

Cut it Sister

Musician

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'It's baseball season!'

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Blues artis's daily list

Cheerleaders

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

"This meeting has been a great success. Insofar as the profound loneliness of my soul has been displaced for a little while."

'With a five day week I golfed and fished. On a four day week I took up bowling and with a three day week I started skiing. Gentlemen, I'm too tired for a two day week.'

Cook in interview explaining she left her last post because her employee did not like her singing

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"

"Good arm."

Heart in a bottle

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

Boot Sale: Buy One Boot Get Second Boot Free.

"He's the life and body of the party"

"Shouldn't we be into soul music?"

'All day I faced the barren waste without a taste of water... cool... clear...'

Zorbing

'It needs more soul.'

Everyone needs a good listener in their life.

"Okay, okay. I surrender. I want to negotiate a peace and quiet treaty!"