Sore Loser Humorist Pillows

"Sid, is there anyone we can contact for you?"

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Bro of Frankenstein

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

The Sedentary Dead.

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

'Give it to me straight, Doc, what are the chances of a recession?'

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

Scaffolding team watching TV.

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."

'Checkmate!'

Mourning Pens

"I'd really let myself go. I hadn't shaved in days."

Foreclosure.

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

'It's delicious, but I'm still going to disallow your home office.'

Car driving comes upon fork in road.

Alien Abduction

"Lose the rug."

'Out to Hunch.'

'I think that I'm beginning to lose my mane.'

"Surprising me- that's your life's work."

'First off I'd like to apologise, M'lud---I appear to have picked up my wife's wig instead of mine by mistake'

"Define 'busy'...."

Desert Island Slob.

Mermaid and reverse-mermaid meeting each other.