Slacker Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"He's laid up with a bad case of inertia."

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Trappist Monk Discord

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'What does it say, Dad?'

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

HELLth Food Sprouts

'At least I don't have his life.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Clone Factory

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"As I understand, we stop refugees making dangerous journeys to a safe countey and offer them safe passage to a dangerous one..."

Trump Tariffs

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Inactivists"

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

Pokemon Get Lost

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

Bro of Frankenstein

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

Vocabulary Glossary for Libya

Prescription Drugs '96.

"Honey, come quick! I think I just bought Greece on Ebay!"