Slacker Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"He's laid up with a bad case of inertia."

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Trappist Monk Discord

'What does it say, Dad?'

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

HELLth Food Sprouts

'At least I don't have his life.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Clone Factory

Trump Tariffs

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"Inactivists"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

Bro of Frankenstein

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

'Oh my God!! The economy's in ruins! There's no money!'

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

Prescription Drugs '96.