Slacker Humor Aficionado Gifts

Yonkers Oktoberfest

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Trappist Monk Discord

'What does it say, Dad?'

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

HELLth Food Sprouts

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'At least I don't have his life.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

Clone Factory

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Trump Tariffs

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"Inactivists"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Bro of Frankenstein

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

Prescription Drugs '96.