Slacker Humor Aficionado Gifts

Yonkers Oktoberfest

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Trappist Monk Discord

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

HELLth Food Sprouts

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'At least I don't have his life.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Clone Factory

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Inactivists"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Pokemon Get Lost

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

"As I understand, we stop refugees making dangerous journeys to a safe countey and offer them safe passage to a dangerous one..."

Bro of Frankenstein

Trump Tariffs

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."