Slacker Satirist Gifts

Relax, Dobson...I'm not here for another one of your crazy excuses...but it's good to know where to come if I ever need one.

Intermediate Slouching.

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Bro of Frankenstein

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

Under zealous: ZZZZZZ!

"Won't your boss miss you?"

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

The Sedentary Dead.

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

You're not a team player, Peters - and I think we can all agree that's a good thing. Beer.

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

Scaffolding team watching TV.

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

"Stop doggin' it!"

'Out to Hunch.'

'You wanted to see me when I woke up?'

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'I know but I have to consider him irreplaceable until I figure out what he does around here.'

"You know I'd help if it weren't for my bum knee."

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

"Have you seen Joey?"

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."