Sore Loser Humorist Gifts

"Sid, is there anyone we can contact for you?"

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Bro of Frankenstein

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

The Sedentary Dead.

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

'Give it to me straight, Doc, what are the chances of a recession?'

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

Scaffolding team watching TV.

'Checkmate!'

"I'd really let myself go. I hadn't shaved in days."

Foreclosure.

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."

Mourning Pens

'It's delicious, but I'm still going to disallow your home office.'

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

Car driving comes upon fork in road.

Alien Abduction

'I think that I'm beginning to lose my mane.'

'Out to Hunch.'

"Lose the rug."

"Surprising me- that's your life's work."

'First off I'd like to apologise, M'lud---I appear to have picked up my wife's wig instead of mine by mistake'

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

We Hate the Left, Please Don't Leave Us Lefties

"That's what happens when you combine lo carb with lo fat fat diets."

"Define 'busy'...."