Sore Loser Humor Gifts

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

Looks like another profit's warning

Bro of Frankenstein

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

Scaffolding team watching TV.

'Checkmate!'

'Are you mentally undressing me again professor?'

'It's delicious, but I'm still going to disallow your home office.'

Mourning Pens

attorney at law

'I know you're sensitive, Wally, but I only asked you to help wash the dishes!'

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

'Me too. I've lost 25 pounds. Sadly not in weight, just in wasted, unused membership fee!'

Castaways Not Welcome

'Jealous? Nonsense,my Emily doesn't know the meaning of the word!'

"Joey, can you answer that?"

Cricketers

"He's laid up with a bad case of inertia."

"Sid, is there anyone we can contact for you?"

"Let it go, Gregg."

Woman returning from Weight Watchers - ""You're late - did you get detention?"

'Every year we have a contest with the neighbors to see who has the last needle left on their tree.'

'Mental exercise doesn't count.'

Congratulations - you have won last prize in our ?1000,000 draw. Please accept this rusty can with our compliments.

Flopsy wakes up one day and suddenly realizes why she never succeeded at anything.

Marital Tally: Arguments Won

"Don't you think I should at least get a no-claims bonus?.. None of my horses have ever won!"