Sore Loser Pillows

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

'Checkmate!'

"Keep 'em coming until I smile."

'This could get tricky, sir -- a Bosnian separatist group has your luggage.'

'Me too. I've lost 25 pounds. Sadly not in weight, just in wasted, unused membership fee!'

'Strike three!'

"Sorry... we're a juice bar now."

'I got it for potty training.'

'Don't pay any attention...he got beat today by some kid too young to drive the golfcart.'

Sleeping ventriloquists dummy snoring

"Sid, is there anyone we can contact for you?"

"Let it go, Gregg."

'It's a boo-boo! His career in professional sports is over!'

Woman returning from Weight Watchers - ""You're late - did you get detention?"

"Trouble is that I can't look for my glasses until I find them!"

Man Sleeping - YYYWAITFORIT

"First my computer locked up, and now my car. Well, I know what's wrong with my car. I locked my car keys in it."

"Don't you think I should at least get a no-claims bonus?.. None of my horses have ever won!"

"And you always said I was hard to shop for."