Sophisticated Humor Lover Gifts

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Larry's used art

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Police Feline Unit

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Grace For Flies

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Why do they do that?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."