Sophisticated Humor Seeker Gifts

Oh, you're one of those 'cartoon cows'!

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

"Well, class, HUMOR isn't usually considered a basic sense, but we'll add it anyway..."

Meds Toast

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

'His BACH is worse than his bite.'

Guru Shifted Thinking

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

True confession

"Reservations, please. And while I wait, I'd like to hear Act II of 'Tosca' sung by Tito Gobbi and Maria Callas."

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

'My investment advice is to relax, stop and smell the roses, dig up the roses, bury a million dollars beneath the roses.'

"This was an advanced civilization. I see a little copyright symbol."

You are here.

Wave to the Goldfish!

John Dryden

'Fighting broke out today between rival U. N. peacekeeping factions....'

"Lionel will be watching the new Administration very closely."

'Forget it, Bob, they're way to skinny!'

"I'll have whatever is hot, fast, and artisanal."

A pot holder.

"It's for people who can't remember passwords."

'The mincer's busted!'

"It's always poor you, isn't it, Albert?"

'Brilliant! I love it! I'll give you ?25,000!'

Incontinent ballistic missile

"No, I don't want to know my age in dog years."