Sophisticated Humor Seeker Pillows

Oh, you're one of those 'cartoon cows'!

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

Meds Toast

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

"Well, class, HUMOR isn't usually considered a basic sense, but we'll add it anyway..."

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

'His BACH is worse than his bite.'

Guru Shifted Thinking

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

True confession

"Reservations, please. And while I wait, I'd like to hear Act II of 'Tosca' sung by Tito Gobbi and Maria Callas."

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

'My investment advice is to relax, stop and smell the roses, dig up the roses, bury a million dollars beneath the roses.'

John Dryden

'Fighting broke out today between rival U. N. peacekeeping factions....'

"Lionel will be watching the new Administration very closely."

You are here.

"This was an advanced civilization. I see a little copyright symbol."

Wave to the Goldfish!

'Forget it, Bob, they're way to skinny!'

"I'll have whatever is hot, fast, and artisanal."

"It's for people who can't remember passwords."

'The mincer's busted!'

"It's always poor you, isn't it, Albert?"

A pot holder.

'Brilliant! I love it! I'll give you ?25,000!'

Incontinent ballistic missile

A Butt Ox

"No, I don't want to know my age in dog years."