Thoughtful Humor Seeker Gifts

Meds Toast

"I am not lazy. I am a cliche."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Family members!

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Unicorn Working From Home

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"Static cling."

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

Drinking Companions

Shoe repair

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

Nit and Flea picking 'Next please...'

Pioneers of the ancient west

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

"Well, class, HUMOR isn't usually considered a basic sense, but we'll add it anyway..."

'Honda has recalled the U.S. Sixth Fleet due to leaky sunroofs.'

If you play this record backwards you can hear xmas carols and heavenly choirs...

Ariel prepares for her big date.

Guru Shifted Thinking

"It doesn't work on geese."

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

Successful killers use gas powered chainsaws only.

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'