Sophisticated Humor Lover Mugs

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Larry's used art

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Grace For Flies

Support the Ex-Troops

Police Feline Unit

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Albert Einstein

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Why do they do that?"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'