Sophisticated Friend Gifts

Rape of the Lock- The Barge

Wine Lady

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Mac OS 20

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"As you can see from the books behind me, I pretend to read a lot of books."

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

Culinary Culture.

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"The meaning of life at a glance"

To his dismay, Captain Kirk stumbles upon a Vulcan handsign-to-English translation website,

Rudolf Carnap

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

Cocktails and Peacocks

Arabian Nights.

Isaac Newton...stumped.

Philosophie.fr Bulletin Board - 1936

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

Vote for me...I'm not that guy!

"You have the right to one phone call, or one cell phone call, or one pager call, or one e-mail!"

New to selfies? Pick a style!

"Just got of the phone with Alex Jones. He tells me the illuminati lizards are approaching the moon. do we have space force on this?"

"The doctors running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching in our waiting room."

Campaign 2010.

Pomeroy is terrified somebody will break into his files. A real case of "hackrophobia"!