Song Critique Gifts

'Forgettable' - The Hit Musical

No Elgar!

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

The Music Critic.

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

A singer being criticised

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

George Gershwin, Psychiatrist

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity, if only through the lyrics of a Coldplay song!"

Focus Groupies

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

"I'm composing a song for the new administration. It's entitled, 'Hell to the chief'."

Smashed harp...

Young Simon Cowell

'Like the judges, he's turned his chair around to concentrate on the singing.'

"Anybody else want to tell this singin' cowboy he sounds a mite pitchy?"

The critic as band leader

"They're meant to be crap, right?"

"Love the melody. . . but the lyrics need work!"