Music Critique Gifts

"Ye gods! Not another tedious and derivative top ten single!"

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

No Elgar!

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

The Music Critic.

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"He's left out the staples"

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

A singer being criticised

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

"He's not an enfant terrible, he's just terrible."

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

'Well, you're not Michaelangelo!'

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."