Musical Criticism Gifts

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

No Elgar!

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

The Music Critic.

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

Tilted painting

"Is this 'pollocks'."

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

A singer being criticised

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

Guillaume Apollinaire

'Turned out non-figurative again...'

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

Don't give up the hunting and gathering.