"The music was so loud I couldn't hear myself talk."
Concert Critic Gifts
Searching for a gift for the concert critic who lives for live performances and has a word or two to say about every show? Explore our collection of clever, music-themed gifts that capture their passion and personality. From humorous mugs to stylish prints, we’ve got everything to tickle their funny bone and celebrate their sharp musical insights.
Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.
No Elgar!
Piano Recital
"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."
"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."
"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."
"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."
'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'
Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.
'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'
"That's not a progress chart, that's the bosses salary chart!"
A lady playing piano and a man talking to her
"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."
"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"
"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"
'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'
The Music Critic.
'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'
"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."
Philip Larkin
A singer being criticised
"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"
Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!
"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"
"No concert bookings for at least two weeks. Restringing..."
An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife
"You're supposed to buy your alcohol here, not bring it with you!"
'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'
"Now, how many of you liked the viola player best?"
James Levine
"Nice, but not Pavarotti''
Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.
"What do you mean, who are my influences?"
"Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity, if only through the lyrics of a Coldplay song!"
Concert Critic Gifts Collection
Concert Critic Mugs
Looking for more concert critic gifts? Explore our collection of witty mugs designed for music lovers who love to critique with a smile.
Concert Critic Pillows
Find cozy pillows with humor and musical flair, ideal for any concert critic’s living space or listening nook.
Concert Critic Prints
Browse our collection of vibrant prints that celebrate live music and musical critique—perfect for decorating a music lover’s space.
Concert Critic T-Shirts
Discover t-shirts perfect for the concert critic—fun, stylish, and full of musical personality—ideal for casual wear or concert nights.