Concert Hall Critic Gifts

Concert Pianist "Almost finished."

Poor acoustics

A Symphony of Penguins

Cimafunk

Anna Calvi

Felix Mendelssohn

No Elgar!

I love my Timpani

Piano Recital

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

Freddie Mercury

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

Mark Knopfler.

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

Popera!

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

'I was so embarrassed when you tossed your y-fronts on stage.'

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

The Music Critic.

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

Fuzz - Fuzzy says 'let me hear you say yeah!'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Cesar Franck