Musical Critique Gifts

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

No Elgar!

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"He's left out the staples"

The Music Critic.

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

A singer being criticised

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

"He's not an enfant terrible, he's just terrible."

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

'Well, you're not Michaelangelo!'

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity, if only through the lyrics of a Coldplay song!"