Son-in-law Gifts

'How will this affect my inheritance?'

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

1651: Cromwell bans Christmas

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"I'm sorry, but Dad's final wishes were that you didn't get to sit in his chair."

Will was excited to be bonding more with his father-in-law-to-be until he noticed the head of the driver.

"Don't be shy Kevin. My mum and dad won't bite."

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

'Hello, mother? Have you got that voodoo book out of the library again?'

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"Thanks for granting me permission to marry your daughter, Mr. Anderson. I'll let you know when I make my decision."

'Mother will know if you return it! She had a GPS tracker sewn into the lining.'

"Chicago, Denver, Phoenix, Canada - Bush never traveled this much!"

"More boiling oil, quickly! It is your mother and she carries a suitcase!"

"You're not just another employee to me, Henderson --You're also my useless, no good son-in-law!"

'If it's mother, speak loudly - you know how deaf she is!'

"We expecting your mother tonight?"

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

"You can come out now, mother's gone."

'It's from your mother-in-law... and she looks pretty pissed!'

"Nothing, but bills and an unsolicited manuscript from your mother."

'Good question son... Any of you guys know why we howl at the full moon?

Bride, Groom, and Mother in Law.

One man band: Wife, kids and mother-in-law to support. (Base drum with Mother-in-law's face on it).

'I'm not saying your mother is senile but she just vacuum bagged the cat!'

'Oh,Gawd! It looks like your Mother!'

"Mother says we need to talk."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

Hello, Agatha. You wanted to see me? What was my son-in-law doing down the street? I was installing a deer fence for Mrs. Quiver. Thanks a lot. Do you have a problem with my work? As a matter of fact

"Did you find a bed for my mother?"

'But we can't go to Australia for our honeymoon, you know how my Mother hates flying!'

'I'll even throw in a brand new 3-year battery for your mother-in-law's peace of mind.'

'I know that right now I don't have too much to offer to your daughter, but I promise you that in a few million years my fossilized remains will cost more than one hundred dollars a barrel.'

'...And you can tell that son-in-law of mine to stop hiding!'

"You told mother to make herself at home."