Sister-in-law Gifts

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'And to my sister-in-law, Kate, who thought I was born on the other side of the tracks, I leave my electric train set.'

'What's the matter? -- You told me to make your sister feel at home.'

Wedding speech.

"Oh no! Looks like my wife's sisters are here!"

"Okay! In the thirty five to forty age group, who's the fairest of them all?"

Birthing Ball

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

Physical Build...and the Birthday Gift of a Red Suit From His In-Laws

'OK, FINE...we'll invite your sister. You don't have to bite my head off.'

'Trust you to leave my daughter a widow!'

"You're a bride of Jesus now? Well....I hope the guy earns enough to feed a family!"

"Now that President Trump raised the age for retirement I enjoy a lot more free time and it keeps my mother-in-law busy."

"The best thing is, I've come to terms with Roberto's death. I don't think he'd want me to not move on with my life. But sometimes, moving on means staying where you are...with the people you love."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"And no, my sister and I don't count as two hippos."

"Of course what else would it be?"

"When I got married it was for 'Better or worse'. That pretty much covers it."

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"With that mask on, I can't tell if you're grinning or grimacing about my sister's visit."

"Would you look at that? Your damn sister always did have to be the center of attention."

"Friend or foe?"

"So, the inevitable sequel."

"That's what I'd give my sister-in-law if she could take care of nice things."

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

"No, John, I don’t remember the ‘Summer of Love.’ But I do recall the spring when you hit on my sister!"

"Does a new Civil War mean we don't have to go to your sister's for Thanksgiving?"

"The lost art of conversation isn't lost at all. It's been kidnapped and held hostage by your sister-in-law."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

'Have you noticed the many small ways your brother puts his wife down?'

'Yes, my sister is coming for a visit and stop calling her Auntie Depressant!'

A note from Kate

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

'Do you mind working overtime tonight?' - 'No, the wife's sister is coming to stay.'