Sister-in-law Expecting Baby Gifts

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cry babies.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

Moms gone wild

Birthing Ball

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

A note from Kate

"Friend or foe?"

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

"So, the inevitable sequel."

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

The Ultrasound.

"Good news. Your mother is pregnant, so, we won't be mortgaging your future."

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'